S
For right and wrong
”One ship sails East and another West by the self-same winds that blow,
Tis the set of the sails and not the gales that tells the way we go.
Like the winds of the sea are the waves of time as we journey along through life,
Tis the set of the soul that determines the goal and not the calm or the strife.” - Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Choice and decision. Every action bears consequences, but every inaction bears them as well. Yet which of both we choose remains ours to decide. In this, the choice becomes our burden, and the result we must carry ourselves.
Choice - Sir Blake is right in one thing. Division brings weakness. I had to make a choice.
The Shield was built to garner strength from a union of faiths, serving towards a greater goal for a common good - an alliance. It’s foundations were upheld by a solid council, not to bring favor to each, but to protect itself from it’s own. Five speakers for each of the clergies, all equal with equal voice. No bias. No stalemates. No division. Strength in Union. A weapon ready to act, forged for the future.
Much has changed. The Shield has grown in exactly that which we sought to protect it from then. There must be structure, true. No single group can wage a war without one designated leader. Yet the Shield was created to be one out of many. It’s leading voice was to be a voice of these many, not one. We each serve our own lords, our own Gods. In other realms, there are those amongst our own churches that would wage war against eachother instead of sharing a table of council. We understood that to stand in union in this land they call Narfell, such differences had to be set aside. We had to protect ourselves from our own prides. No favor, only equality, each with a clear purpose. Yet even in doing so we understood the need for singular command, and so out of five, one was chosen to to achieve this. One with equal word to all, but with the power to break ties through his own word, able to steer the Order through every-day tasks, with this council to watch over all.
This, they changed. They changed the delicate balance of power within the Order that was created to avoid division. They changed it’s ways of command. One that spoke on behalf of the many, became only one to command all. In that, they changed everything. The Council in this became a shadow of what it was. No more does one of every church speak to guide the Order. Helm’s protection is absent from it’s word, and so are Lathander’s spirit, or Ilmater’s resolve. Strength in union, yet where is the union when each serve their own purpose? Where is the union when one Lord’s voice speaks above the others, allowing favor to be tipped to their own side? By their own hand, they created the division they claim to be wanting to avoid. Equality is lost. The real union has been replaced by idle beliefs, words of relational bonds. A family… One either belongs, or doesn’t. With the current ways that the Order commands itself, too much is dependant on only one.
_“I look upon you all, my dear family and I have faith in the future of this city, and of other lands where we reside. Learn from this, but do not allow it to cause bitterness or division.
In the name of Tyr, I absolve you of your sins. Let us start this day, once again a trusting family.
Bless you all.”_
Lady Daisy’s words were high praise, such absolution a show of high trust. I should have felt their touch as it seemed the others did, let them warm me perhaps and leave it all behind. Allow myself to fall blind to what has been, with a new eye upon the future amongst brothers. Yet, I couldn’t. When I heard the blessing spoken, and saw the looks of pride and gratitude upon the faces of those I called brothers, all in the twilight of what had been spoken before – and what had not - I felt nothing but disgust. The good lady’s words embodied all that the Shield has become. A family needing absolution from a Tyrean to continue on. A mere shadow of itself, dependent. All the words felt like was a lie… When she left and the others finally broke the tensed silence that had been in the air for the whole meeting before with idle purpose, all I could consider was the futility of the whole charade.
“A chain is only as strong as it’s weakest link.”
Natanya’s words initially brought me great concern. Of course, much I knew already from within the Order’s own reports, yet still. Her words brought question. What impact would all of it have upon the Order itself, when those involved are exactly the ones that either lead now, or will lead soon? Natanya is kind enough, I don’t bear her ill wishes. Yet her weakness is this empathy of hers. It blinds her. She cares too much. She tried to be the rock that others could cling to, yet she suffers their problems more than she thinks. More than she can hold, I am afraid.
Considering all that was told, the mistakes and failures, the grasp this forsaken gutterborn succubus spawn of a devil still holds over the Order, the way they still allow all of this to be their torment, all that has been done in an effort to overcome this evil, and all that is still being done now… No. They seek their personal strength in bonds of friendship, but in the meantime they continue to weaken the Order itself. They drive the wedge that will ultimately separate us all. I was forced to make a choice: either keep my trust in their ability to continue and see the right course, or to question everything and ensure that the strength of the Order remains. I chose to find the weakest link. Thanks to their own reactions, I found it as well.
The meeting was little more than a joke. I will not contest that the called for inquisition in it’s essence was not conducted to the best of the Order’s abilities, no. I still hold respect for it’s judgement, as well as for the decisions of the Order’s leadership. They were wise enough. It’s the rest… the silence, the hidden truth, that urge to protect themselves from something they should not fear, hiding behind words of pride and insult upon their own. How in trying to cling together they forget to reason.
Daisy could not have stated it any better had she actually wished to. Her own words confirmed my suspicions, along with the reactions of each and every one of them. The Divine Shield is no longer what it has been. The questions that stirred my primal concern still remained unanswered, and I believe now that only time and vigilance will answer them.
Division brings weakness, and ultimately an end. In their own blindness, they chose to find their strength in union against me. My point was made by themselves. They themselves showed the weakness in the Order, the division that was already there. I cannot bring myself to concern myself over this any further at this time however. For now, my hand will not be the one that destroys the little that still remains of what the Order has been.
For that, I gave my silence. For that, I now turn away from it, in order to protect that what still remains of it all. My focus now must remain on the war that is brewing to the East, and my duty there amongst my own, unburdened by the Order’s own issues, by it's division. I can only pray that they will still understand the wrong in all of it.
For that, I turned my back and left.
